Try to find the silver lining behind every dark cloud in your life. - Learn to let go!

by - Monday, July 10, 2017

I’ve always had a phobia or fear of being alone, and of things breaking and others ending.
I’ve held on tight to forever mores and happily ever after.
I’ve always been afraid of the unknown and therefore always stuck to the plan.
I’ve always feared discomfort and grasped on to every shred of comfort thrown my way.

But once I started being alone not out of enforcement but solely out of choice. Remember If you can’t love yourself enough and fulfil your own desires no man can do it for you and you certainly will not be able to love or fulfil another.

Letting go for me marked the beginning of things breaking, but you know what I’m not afraid because in reality when things break they are replaced with brand new ones. No chips no scratches pure and perfect a new beginning.



“There is a Centuries-Old art of repairing broken pottery with gold called Kintsugi which is practiced in Japan which means golden joinery.

fixing broken pottery with a special lacquer dusted with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. Beautiful seams of gold glint in the cracks of ceramic ware, giving a unique appearance to the piece.

This repair method celebrates each artifact's unique history by emphasizing its fractures and breaks instead of hiding or disguising them. Kintsugi often makes the repaired piece even more beautiful than the original, revitalizing it with new life.”

Bringing this back to relationships… A break up or letting go is not always a bad thing.
“When someone leaves, it’s sometimes because something better is about to arrive.” In everyday life, we congratulate people for being promoted for graduating and for moving in to new homes. This does not mean leave the one you are with for something better all the time nope or else you will never stop leaving. However, if you are at a point where you are unfulfilled and feel weighed down and stagnant in your life because of it and believe there is more for you than where you currently are then do it.

So often we tie love to so many things that those ties become so strong that we can’t even break them ourselves and we strangle our souls fighting to break out.  Learn to love purely put the finances, the money, the comfort and the external benefits of the relationship aside for a second.

If all those things were taken care off if your children were old and had started their own lives. If money grew on trees where would you be? If it’s not where you are currently then it’s not where you should be either. Because then it means your external needs have become the foundation of your relationship and love is just the roof over your head. It should be the other way around.

When I marked the beginning of the end and the start of the beginning there wasn’t a shred of fear in my fibre, because when one chapter closes a new one is opened and the closer we are to the happily ever after.

At that moment, I did not have a plan and frankly I had no clue of what the future holds for me and I won’t lie I was a little afraid in the beginning then I decided to trust in the plan that God has for my life because that is more important than that I had for myself.

I am not the woman you will find in church every Sunday or at the Cell group every week, but boy when I pray, when I have my time with God it gets personal. I know what prayer has done for me and how it has pulled me through the hardest of times so I do not have a single doubt when I chat to my God that my prayers do not fall on deaf ears.

There was a scripture I came across during this time that read

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  From the book of Philippians.

Can’t tell you which verse exactly still working on cramming verses I still struggle with birthdays but my God is patient.

After I read this the anxiety left completely. I am one person that holds people to their words so in this instance I was like God you got this.

I still am in absolute discomfort about where I am right now but I have broken ties with my comfort and let go of what I have been holding on too for so long. I finally stepped out of my comfort zone and started to LIVE and not survive.


So, I just took a deep breath and told myself that I am going to be just fine; in fact I am not only going to be fine but I am going to be great because now I have learned that I am amazing all by my own.

If you are like me, I tend to handle the major calamities in life better than the mundane, ordinary but definitely stress-inducing minutia of daily living. But guess what stress has no place in a heart that kneels before the manger.

Life is so unpleasant when you have nothing left to feel.  Sometimes letting go hurts however it beats the daily pain of holding on to something unpleasant. If you wanting to be happy, displeases anybody it is completely normal because that somebody is putting themselves first.

Learn to close some doors today. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they lead you nowhere. It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.


Finally, out of all of this do not be afraid to love again. Love is always new. Regardless of whether we love once, twice, or a dozen times in our life, we always face a brand-new situation. Love can consign us to hell or to paradise, but it always takes us somewhere. We simply have to accept it, because it is what nourishes our existence. If we reject it, we die of hunger, because we lack the courage to reach out a hand and pluck the fruit from the branches of the tree of life. We have to take love where we find it, even if it means just for a few hours, days, weeks. The moment we begin to seek love, love begins to seek us. 

With Love 
Kutloano.

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