A Promise to My Daughter - Thandolwethu ♥ Rethabile

by - Tuesday, August 08, 2017

So, I wrote this to my Daughter around 2013 a year after she had landed into my arms…
I read it from time to time just to remind myself.
I thought to myself that I mean being a first-time mom and all there are a lot of things I had to learn along the way and maybe even re evaluate my promises to you...

From the day, you started to grow inside me I felt a tickle in my stomach and joy in my life.
Yes, there were feelings of fear, anxiety and frustration that had nothing to do with you only a result of my lack of preparation. I was entrusted with God’s most precious gift and was overwhelmed by the task given to me that I had to now take on.

As you grew stronger and bigger your presence became stronger and when you graced this earth with your presence it marked the beginning of a whole new journey, the beginning for my purpose in life.
Giving birth to you felt like giving birth to a part of me together with my heart.
From that moment, I knew that your pains would become mine and that my struggles would become yours.

I made a promise to myself that I would never endure pain because I want to protect you from my pain. (Yet I found you wiping of the tears of my face when I had failed to protect you from my pain)

I will never allow myself to fall because I don’t want you to inherit my struggles.
I will be the best that I can be for you to become the greatest.
(You have proven to be nothing short of exceptional, my very own Mohammed Ali)
I will put your needs before mine because I was entrusted by God to take care of you.
(You have made this such an easy task because as young as you are the love you show me on a daily you often put my needs before your own sharing your sweets and allowing me to sleep on your side of my bed so I can charge my phone)

I promise that I would hug you every day of your existence and tell you that I love you so that you know how important you are.
(Every time I get home you greet me with warmest hugs so it’s a task we both get done)

I promise that I would protect myself so that you never see me hurt because I don’t want your heart to ever be broken. (I remember the time you told me not to drink a lot of water because its spilling from my eyes.) I knew I had to try harder.
I promise that I will respect myself so that you learn respect through my actions.
(I am so hard on you about how you carry yourself, the other day you showed a horrendous twerk dance you learnt from a little girl at your school I was furious and aunty @mathebe saw it and gave you a pep talk in the calmest manner ever)
I realised I could instil in you all the values I wanted you to have however the most important thing I need to instil in you is the mentality of not conforming to society.

I promise that I will prepare you for the worst and always wish for you only the best.
I promise that I will teach you how to express yourself so that you are never misunderstood.
I promise to teach you how to forgive so that you do not burden yourself with resentment.
I promise that you will never hit rock bottom because if you ever fall I will lay on the ground and you will land in my arms and never hit the floor.

Being a mother has taught me a lot of valuable lessons and I have only you to thank for that. Your presence in my life has made me a better woman, a better friend, a better person, a better lover and only the need to strive in being a perfect mother for you.

When you are happy I want to share each moment of your happiness with you.
When you are sad I want to be there to comfort you.
When you are hurt, I will do everything in my power to make your pain go away and if I fail I will share in your pain to lighten the load.
If you ever should stumble across any obstacles in life I will hold your hand every step of the way and make sure that you never fall. (But I realised form your playground indabas that it’s impossible for me to be there every time you fall.
When things get, tough I want be the first person that you come to and I promise to always be strong enough for the both of us.

I know the pain and feeling of being alone and I never ever want you to have to go through that.
I want you to know that you can always count on me for anything and I will protect you from harm every day of my life. You have a mother and father that loves you and would give anything in the world to ensure that you are always happy. You have a father in heaven who wants nothing but the best for you and whenever you feel lost and alone I will teach how to kneel and pray because there will be no man on earth greater than your creator.

I have many regrets in life but I could have you all over again.
I have made some bad choices in my life but you were my best decisions.
I have endured pain at some point but you are my joy.
I've been down but you are the highlight of my life.
You are my strength, my courage, my sunshine, my happiness.
You are my drive, my perseverance, my force and my rock.
To this day, I still can’t fully explain just how much I love you but best believe I feel it
with every breathe that I take.


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